If You Try Sometimes, You Get What You Need

Let me catch you up on the last year, or so, of my life. I imagine that I am largely writing only to myself these days, and I'm very much ok with that. If you happen upon this, know that you are welcome, as I have nothing to keep from anyone, and I prefer it that way. Surprise me and ask a question of something I haven't covered. Where shall I start? I think I covered the craziness of cruise season already, and Michael will have to have his own post, so how about after that? I took some time to myself after Michael and I ended, and fall/winter of last year I had been dating someone we'll call EB. He is an almost-famous actor who gave it all up to spend more time with his family. He has a few exes he calls crazy, and never wanted them to know I existed, so that relationship will go down in history as invisible. He preferred it that way. Ultimately he is emotionally unavailable, and said that he thought to end things because I was giving so very much more in the relationship than he was. Well, it's a good excuse, but not one I believe. It had more to do with... a lack of self control. That's the easiest way of putting it. Anyway, he and I were spending a lot of time together, and we had something in common we both loved, but that we'd never done together. Dancing. I had been really into Blues Dancing, and still am, and he said he loved dancing too. We decided to go, and I was really excited to introduce him to this thing I loved. It ended up changing my life. We danced two or three songs together, and the majority of the night he spent on the side, talking with strangers he'd never see again. His boisterous laugh rang out, and whenever our eyes connected, there was no connection in them. How very odd, I thought. So, he doesn't really dance... wait, what? What was all that? Videos of him doing late night street dancing, and all those words! Maybe it was something else? He preferred to entertain strangers than build an existing connection. As I write this, that actually makes a whole lot of sense for what I know of him. Hmm. Anyway, there was someone else there that night. He was tall, had shaggy hair in gorgeous curls, and he danced like he knew a whole lot more about dancing than anyone else in the room. I noticed him, and was very aware of him much of the night. It wasn't a flattering thing. He has a face that could put him as a younger brother to Randon, the seven year guy. Rkugliug's (I rarely honor him with use of his name) face was my ideal, except he had kind of a big nose. This guy had a good nose, and big eyes. I could tell he was definitely younger than me, and the combination of his age and his face, I wanted nothing to do with him. Nothing. Not one dance, not one word. I'd seen that species of snake before, and spent too much time learning the reasons to stay away. I tried to keep my dance card full enough that he couldn't ask me to dance. Towards the end of the night, when I'd let down my guard, he appeared and asked me to dance. I dance with everyone who asks, so I plastered a smile on my face and agreed. He was actually a very very good dancer. It wasn't blues, but he was a clear lead, and so I was an easy follow. We talked a bit and all I got out of it was that he can design and build anything. He asked me if I was dating anyone, and I told him yes, and that he was there in the room. He was so young, and EB is obviously older. My pride wouldn't let me give away my age by telling him who it was. We danced once more, and at the end of the night he hung back to chat with me another moment. When he approached, I asked him if he wouldn't mind taking a photo of the people I came with. He did, and we all left quickly thereafter. In the weeks that followed, EB and I had a great time together. We saw my favorite band, we spent a great evening with his kids and a long night canoodling after they went to bed, all of us went to his work party where I was introduced over and over as his special friend, lol... and then it ended abruptly. It was very strange to me. One Saturday he was treating me like normal, and by the next Saturday he was cancelling plans and not communicating it. After months of being close, and having really great communication, he just stood me up... and uttered an only obligatory "I'm sorry". Nothing further to explain or fix the slight. It was confusing, but I will say, it is a good strategy on his part for making me get over it easily. People don't treat me that way, and I don't hang on to people who do. A couple days later I was only pleased to know what kind of man I'd been seeing. That next Friday I went blues dancing again, and when the well dressed guy with the big smile was there again, I didn't mind when he asked me to dance. When we danced I told him I wasn't seeing anyone, and before the end of the night he asked for my number and told me he'd call me soon. He did. He called me the following night. "Hey, this is Taylor. Are you busy tonight?" Wow! He's on the ball! It was refreshing to hear his spontaneous question, but I wasn't really sure I wanted to slide down the snake hole again. "I was just wondering if you'd like to throw pottery with me tonight?" Hmmm... throw... pottery... sounds like a good stress relief? Definitely unique. "I'm taking a pottery class and I have some pieces I need to work on. I could teach you how to make something." Ok, hold up. He's taking a pottery class and he wants to relive the movie 'Ghost' with me tonight. I've never done that before, and it sounds romantic. It doesn't mean we are going to date, or even go out twice. I want to try that. "Ok, great, don't worry about getting done up, just wear something that you don't care about getting ruined." Deal. I have nothing but paint clothes that I don't mind ruining. I'll just ruin something I don't care thaaat much about. See you in an hour and a half. Poof, I had turned down a road I hadn't seen coming. The date was really great, and I found myself nervous, with butterflies. That was unexpected. The whole date was unexpected, and when I was back home, I was quite unsure how to proceed with how I felt about him. He was unexpectedly very much unlike Rakdjhrkj. I was expecting a night of having to hear a whole bunch of garbage I didn't care about, by a guy who put himself down in an effort to make me think he was humble. I actually got a really down to Earth guy who was sweet, and looked at me like... well like he still looks at me. So, that's the story of the beginning of Taylor and I. I'll fill in more after a while. For now I'll leave it at this... he is so very good to me, so very good for me, and meets me right where I need him to.