This last week has been really emotionally crazy for me. Highs and lows and almost all of them completely unexpected. Today I got knocked back into reality and I am really glad for that. Phew! As much as I'd love to go into more detail on all that stuff... I'm not going to. Instead, I am going to tell you about someone I love very dearly that has been on my mind today... and it's fitting because his birthday is this Memorial Day... which is even more fitting because he passed away in September of 2007. Last night I had come home and my roomie had stacked all my laundry I had left in the dryer on top of my bed in a huge pile. I was tired and feeling kinda low and I curled up with my scriptures and read until I fell asleep. At some point around 4 or so I woke up and closed the book and turned my light off... but I only vaguely remember it.
I woke up in the morning from a wonderful dream about my dear friend Justin. I don't remember exactly what was happening in the dream except that we were both laughing hysterically. I woke up, realized it was a dream, laughed aloud and fell back asleep just overjoyed to be dreaming of him. I have wished he was near many many many times in the last two years. He used to tell me very frequently that "Friends are friends for life" and when he died I felt so alone because how could we be friends for life if he was gone? I was pondering this thought and grieving for my loss one day when these words came to my mind: "Friends are friends for life. Not just for my life, but for yours too". Those words have brought me so much comfort. He was always really good at being there for me whenever I needed someone to talk to, someone to talk through things with, someone to really understand me and what was going on in my mind. He got into Mixed Martial Arts and he was good at it. He made good money off it. This picture was after a victory. He was an all around really awesome guy :o) It was because of him that I broke off an engagement. It's kind of a funny story... I had been engaged to this guy named Jason for about 5 months (that's a whole different story) and he was the kind of guy who obviously came from money in California. he could spot a pair of Seven for all Mankind jeans from half a mile away and he was very well groomed and high maintenance. Justin scoffed at that kind of 'girly-man' being that he was a tough, sports-oriented guy who would bite the head off a rattlesnake if it came within his reach. So this particular night we went to this party at Rockin' R Ranch, which is a popular venue for the singles scene because it's outdoors, big, and far enough away from houses that you can stay out till late without the noise being a problem. As you may be able to deduce, being a 'Ranch' theme, there were horses and cows regularly on the premises. Well, Jason stepped in cow manure and got it on his shoe. He went to the car, put his shoes in the trunk and pouted for the duration of the party. I invited him to come mingle as we gathered our after-party group. he refused. Now, just to make sure we are clear on this, if it had happened to me, I would have whined loudly and thrown such a fuss that everyone in earshot would know how poor and picked on I was for having desecrated my shoe in that filthy, unfair, and revolting manner!... and then I would have scuffed it off on the gravel and gone effortlessly on with life with a smirk on my face. not the case with Jason. He kept it up all the way through the end of the party and spoke of nothing else when he wasn't pouting at Denny's with all of us. I was quite put off and he went back to California a couple days later. I was discussing this with Justin who thought the whole matter was quite hilarious as he openly mocked Jason for his absurdity and then he did it. He broke the camel's back. He said, "Chelyse, you don't want your daughters to learn to be prissy from their FATHER do you?" Hahaha, we all laughed, but in that moment something clicked! No! I absolutely didn't want that! The light went on and I was completely done with him. I went on a date with someone else the very next day! In hindsight I am so glad he said that. He had a talent for saying things how it was in often times very rude ways but it was absolute truth so you couldn't really be mad about it.
The first time we met he said to me... over our dinner party, "Your heart is in a glass case on a shelf in your room." How dare he! At the time, it was absolutely true, but who was he to see it and tell me? And then when I indignantly turned away and pretended to be earnestly ignoring him, he took my phone from the table and put his number in as 'My True Love' Ugh! As If! Who did he think he was?! A matter of days later we were friends for life. Anyway, so today I was speaking with a new friend, Jesse, and in the course of our conversation he asked me if I wanted to see a picture of his ex girlfriend who had lived in Arizona for a short while. We were looking at the computer when he said that and he scrolled over a picture of the two of them. I thought she looked familiar and I asked her name. He said Deana, but she is no longer with us. I gasped, "No way, what is her last name?" He told me and I asked if she died in September a couple years ago in a car accident. He said yes and I asked if she had been dating someone named Justin. He didn't know and I asked to see the picture of the two of them. He pulled it up and it was her... the girl who Justin had been driving with. I'd know her face anywhere. I never met her, but I went to her funeral because I needed closure and Justin would be having a closed casket burial. Jesse had heard of her death 4 days after the funeral. They had been dating until two months before she died. Of course I attended Justin's funeral, and it was heart wrenching, but just as I'm sure he would have liked it. There was a lot of love and it was as light as a funeral could be. A couple days after the funeral Matthew and I drove the same route home that Justin and Deana took. Justin's brother had told us exactly where it happened. Just south of Payson on the 87 at the bend in the road just after mile marker 247. They would have been driving for 3 hours by that point and it would have been about 4am. We parked at the rest stop that was less than a quarter mile away (so like Justin to think he could make it the remaining two hours) and walked down the road. The sight of the grass flattened where the road curved and the car didn't will forever be etched in my memory. We hiked down and saw it. I won't describe it more than to say that it was very difficult to see because it was very obvious what exactly had happened there only a week before. While there, I found a few things and took them with me. Their families had been there already to gather what they wished, and what I found was really nothing... but it was his... and that made it priceless to me.
I also found a rock, a small red pebble with a white vein running through it. I saved it and had it made into a necklace charm which I wear often, more than any other peice of jewelry actually, and was wearing today. I showed it to Jesse and I told him about Deana's funeral and the crash site and about Justin and some fun stories about the good time we had. I could tell you many stories about him. He was really funny and creative, extremely adventurous, absolutely fearless, and he had a laugh that you couldn't help but join in when he laughed. He was very sensitive and had a knack for knowing exactly what I needed. We confided in each other and trusted each other completely. I know I can still tell him anything... I just wish I could still have those long conversations and hear from him in return. Another story, or two... once he kidnapped all our cups... while all of us girls were home, he passed them out the kitchen window. There were something like 40 of them. We didn't notice for weeks. :o) He and his roomies went through a pirate phase for a while, saying Aargh at every chance and lots of inside jokes that were even funny from the outside. I used to never knock when I'd go over to his house and one day I walk in and I heard music coming from his room and boisterous boys, so I went back there peeked around the corner. It was the funniest thing, There were 6 or 7 guys all dressed in their underclothes dancing like pirates to the Flogging Molly song Seven Deadly Sins. Some were hopping around like they had a peg leg, some like they had a hook for a hand, and all of them saying Argh Matey, and hopping about like they'd been at sea so long they were delirious. I could barely stand to laugh quietly, but I stayed there watching, waiting for them to notice me there, and they were so involved that they didn't notice me there for several minutes! He said much later that they knew I was there but they were having so much fun they didn't stop. He might have noticed, but the way some of them scattered when I was noticed... they didn't all see me :o) Anyway, I miss him terribly, and this Memorial Day, as I am enjoying the weather and the company, I will also be remembering my Forever Friend, the one and only, amazing for so many Countless reasons... Justin Sessions.
I woke up in the morning from a wonderful dream about my dear friend Justin. I don't remember exactly what was happening in the dream except that we were both laughing hysterically. I woke up, realized it was a dream, laughed aloud and fell back asleep just overjoyed to be dreaming of him. I have wished he was near many many many times in the last two years. He used to tell me very frequently that "Friends are friends for life" and when he died I felt so alone because how could we be friends for life if he was gone? I was pondering this thought and grieving for my loss one day when these words came to my mind: "Friends are friends for life. Not just for my life, but for yours too". Those words have brought me so much comfort. He was always really good at being there for me whenever I needed someone to talk to, someone to talk through things with, someone to really understand me and what was going on in my mind. He got into Mixed Martial Arts and he was good at it. He made good money off it. This picture was after a victory. He was an all around really awesome guy :o) It was because of him that I broke off an engagement. It's kind of a funny story... I had been engaged to this guy named Jason for about 5 months (that's a whole different story) and he was the kind of guy who obviously came from money in California. he could spot a pair of Seven for all Mankind jeans from half a mile away and he was very well groomed and high maintenance. Justin scoffed at that kind of 'girly-man' being that he was a tough, sports-oriented guy who would bite the head off a rattlesnake if it came within his reach. So this particular night we went to this party at Rockin' R Ranch, which is a popular venue for the singles scene because it's outdoors, big, and far enough away from houses that you can stay out till late without the noise being a problem. As you may be able to deduce, being a 'Ranch' theme, there were horses and cows regularly on the premises. Well, Jason stepped in cow manure and got it on his shoe. He went to the car, put his shoes in the trunk and pouted for the duration of the party. I invited him to come mingle as we gathered our after-party group. he refused. Now, just to make sure we are clear on this, if it had happened to me, I would have whined loudly and thrown such a fuss that everyone in earshot would know how poor and picked on I was for having desecrated my shoe in that filthy, unfair, and revolting manner!... and then I would have scuffed it off on the gravel and gone effortlessly on with life with a smirk on my face. not the case with Jason. He kept it up all the way through the end of the party and spoke of nothing else when he wasn't pouting at Denny's with all of us. I was quite put off and he went back to California a couple days later. I was discussing this with Justin who thought the whole matter was quite hilarious as he openly mocked Jason for his absurdity and then he did it. He broke the camel's back. He said, "Chelyse, you don't want your daughters to learn to be prissy from their FATHER do you?" Hahaha, we all laughed, but in that moment something clicked! No! I absolutely didn't want that! The light went on and I was completely done with him. I went on a date with someone else the very next day! In hindsight I am so glad he said that. He had a talent for saying things how it was in often times very rude ways but it was absolute truth so you couldn't really be mad about it. 
The first time we met he said to me... over our dinner party, "Your heart is in a glass case on a shelf in your room." How dare he! At the time, it was absolutely true, but who was he to see it and tell me? And then when I indignantly turned away and pretended to be earnestly ignoring him, he took my phone from the table and put his number in as 'My True Love' Ugh! As If! Who did he think he was?! A matter of days later we were friends for life. Anyway, so today I was speaking with a new friend, Jesse, and in the course of our conversation he asked me if I wanted to see a picture of his ex girlfriend who had lived in Arizona for a short while. We were looking at the computer when he said that and he scrolled over a picture of the two of them. I thought she looked familiar and I asked her name. He said Deana, but she is no longer with us. I gasped, "No way, what is her last name?" He told me and I asked if she died in September a couple years ago in a car accident. He said yes and I asked if she had been dating someone named Justin. He didn't know and I asked to see the picture of the two of them. He pulled it up and it was her... the girl who Justin had been driving with. I'd know her face anywhere. I never met her, but I went to her funeral because I needed closure and Justin would be having a closed casket burial. Jesse had heard of her death 4 days after the funeral. They had been dating until two months before she died. Of course I attended Justin's funeral, and it was heart wrenching, but just as I'm sure he would have liked it. There was a lot of love and it was as light as a funeral could be. A couple days after the funeral Matthew and I drove the same route home that Justin and Deana took. Justin's brother had told us exactly where it happened. Just south of Payson on the 87 at the bend in the road just after mile marker 247. They would have been driving for 3 hours by that point and it would have been about 4am. We parked at the rest stop that was less than a quarter mile away (so like Justin to think he could make it the remaining two hours) and walked down the road. The sight of the grass flattened where the road curved and the car didn't will forever be etched in my memory. We hiked down and saw it. I won't describe it more than to say that it was very difficult to see because it was very obvious what exactly had happened there only a week before. While there, I found a few things and took them with me. Their families had been there already to gather what they wished, and what I found was really nothing... but it was his... and that made it priceless to me. 
I also found a rock, a small red pebble with a white vein running through it. I saved it and had it made into a necklace charm which I wear often, more than any other peice of jewelry actually, and was wearing today. I showed it to Jesse and I told him about Deana's funeral and the crash site and about Justin and some fun stories about the good time we had. I could tell you many stories about him. He was really funny and creative, extremely adventurous, absolutely fearless, and he had a laugh that you couldn't help but join in when he laughed. He was very sensitive and had a knack for knowing exactly what I needed. We confided in each other and trusted each other completely. I know I can still tell him anything... I just wish I could still have those long conversations and hear from him in return. Another story, or two... once he kidnapped all our cups... while all of us girls were home, he passed them out the kitchen window. There were something like 40 of them. We didn't notice for weeks. :o) He and his roomies went through a pirate phase for a while, saying Aargh at every chance and lots of inside jokes that were even funny from the outside. I used to never knock when I'd go over to his house and one day I walk in and I heard music coming from his room and boisterous boys, so I went back there peeked around the corner. It was the funniest thing, There were 6 or 7 guys all dressed in their underclothes dancing like pirates to the Flogging Molly song Seven Deadly Sins. Some were hopping around like they had a peg leg, some like they had a hook for a hand, and all of them saying Argh Matey, and hopping about like they'd been at sea so long they were delirious. I could barely stand to laugh quietly, but I stayed there watching, waiting for them to notice me there, and they were so involved that they didn't notice me there for several minutes! He said much later that they knew I was there but they were having so much fun they didn't stop. He might have noticed, but the way some of them scattered when I was noticed... they didn't all see me :o) Anyway, I miss him terribly, and this Memorial Day, as I am enjoying the weather and the company, I will also be remembering my Forever Friend, the one and only, amazing for so many Countless reasons... Justin Sessions.
Chelyse thank you so much for your sweet comment on our blog! That was so nice to read:) It is Truly amazing having this little addition come to Keith and I! I cannot express it in words either! I hope Utah is treating you well! Thank you again!
ReplyDeleteCharayye
i love this post! i didnt know your friend but he sounds like he was amazing! i got chills when i was reading about the scene...i was just there a two weeks ago camping...scary how you never know where life is going to take you.
ReplyDeleteThank you for this. I know it's more than 4 years after you wrote it, but I think of Justin frequently. We were roommates in Provo for a few years and my fondest memories of that time include Justin. I talked to him on the phone the night of his accident. We were planning to go to Vegas together for a job. Still hard to think about.
ReplyDeleteKirk